Some Random Susan: "There is no excuse, none. As a ND parent of ND men I’ve labored, LABORED to instill that in them. Lack of social awareness isn’t a get out of jail free card. so yeah it enrages me when people push it as an excuse. No, never ever. Absolutely not. Being autistic is not a license to be an asshole." / Blueviewer

Some Random Susan@anysusan.bsky.social·2026-09-27T17:34:48.780Z #

because yeah I was an ND woman in a lot of places where I was preyed on in various personal and professional spaces. it’s been my mission for twenty plus years to raise humans who know better than that.

Zendervai@zendervai.bsky.social·2026-09-28T17:29:15.004Z #

I think a lot of people who pull this excuse are deliberately trying to bury that it's actually very easy to err on the side of "it's a default no unless you get a very clear and direct yes, with multiple confirmations". It's really offensive to pretend autistic people can't understand that.

Ainsel@ainselcrafts.bsky.social·2026-09-29T02:34:31.611Z #

Yep. You can even say “hey I’m autistic and I need you to tell me very clearly if you want anything to happen sexually tonight, because I often miss social cues” if you think a potential partner might be hinting at wanting sex.

Ainsel@ainselcrafts.bsky.social·2026-09-29T04:34:40.492Z #

Bit awkward? Sure. Way less awkward than finding out later that you accidentally raped someone. Not that the vast majority of “but he’s autistic” defenses for sexual misbehavior are actually genuine, but like, if it was a real concern for someone there would be an easy way to solve that problem!

Josh O'Connor-Chen@joshoconnorchen.bsky.social·2026-09-27T18:23:02.861Z #

I have many male friends and colleagues who are ND. *All* would be utterly horrified at the notion of people even thinking they might be like this, and many of them would write overly-detailed messages clarifying exactly how they felt about it.

Some Random Susan@anysusan.bsky.social·2026-09-27T18:36:02.173Z #

There are many, many honorable men in the autistic community who have called out assholes like Elon for years for trying to use autism as an excuse for bad behavior. I have much respect for them.

Mighty Apollo@mightyapollo.bsky.social·2026-09-27T20:21:04.901Z #

Adolescence can be incredibly lonely for ASD teenagers so we started some youth groups here. It helps to share experiences with others, etc. but then we always drive it home - everyone makes a choice. Be someone who punches down or be someone who lifts others up./1

Mighty Apollo@mightyapollo.bsky.social·2026-09-27T20:25:10.991Z #

ASD youth are abused both physically and sexually at a higher rate than their peers (maybe 4x higher, but the research is soft). And we know those are cycles than can perpetuate. But again, everyone has a choice. Try to fill a hole in self worth by victimizing others, or be something who helps./e

Mighty Apollo@mightyapollo.bsky.social·2026-09-27T20:25:57.334Z #

*someone

Some Random Susan@anysusan.bsky.social·2026-09-27T21:33:50.909Z #

It concerns me that the AI/EA community seems to target this population and once indoctrinated - possibly into abuse - it is that much harder for them to leave. Complicity breeds.

Some Random Susan@anysusan.bsky.social·2026-09-27T21:35:18.992Z #

adults going into it consensually, eyes wide open have agency. minors recruited over the web do not.

Ulysses S. Longtorso, MN@uslongtorso.bsky.social·2026-09-27T18:59:45.354Z #

As a ND parent of ND kids, it doesn’t have to be this way. I spent my young adulthood figuring out how to be a considerate, good person in social interactions - and how to communicate goodwill and respect. It was sad being suspected of being like problematic NT men. Now ND creeps make it worse.

Some Random Susan@anysusan.bsky.social·2026-09-27T19:06:21.474Z #

Exactly. But the asholes are now being awarded with positions in government and held up as tech titans, it gets depressingly difficult to combat the glazing they get from the media.

Ainsel@ainselcrafts.bsky.social·2026-09-29T02:32:43.892Z #

It’s not hard to make absolutely sure you don’t rape anyone, even if you have the worst social skills in the ENTIRE WORLD, with one simple trick: If you’re in any doubt about whether or not someone else wants to have sex with you, do not have sex with them.